Tuesday, January 23, 2007

From Ugly to Beautiful

My name is Amy and I am 25. I am now married to the most wonderful man the Lord could ever bless me with. But when I was 17 I became pregnant with my daughter. I was scared, to say the least. While on my way to the airport to go visit my dad in Washington State, I felt nauseous and threw up. My mother did not mention it at the time, but she suspected it. When I got to my dad’s house, I puked again. My step-mom, who was a nurse, suggested that my dad and I go to the local Safeway and buy a pregnancy test. When I got home, I went into the bathroom and three minutes later, my worst fear came in the form of two big blue lines. I was pregnant. I was devastated. I cried…no, I sobbed. I couldn’t understand how this could happen to me. I was only 17. I had a big, bright future ahead of me. Only other people got pregnant, not me. My dad and step-mom were very supportive, but my mom and the father (not my husband)’s mom suggested I get an abortion, albeit for different reasons. His mother wanted me to abort because I was so young. My mother wanted me to abort because she hated the father. I did not want an abortion. Only other girls got abortions. I was pro-death, but only for other people. I was not going to abort my baby – especially if my mother was telling me to do so (we had a …strained…relationship). By the grace of God, my dad and step-mom took me into their home. I completed my senior year in WA, and I graduated with my class. In fact, I completed my credits a semester early. Senior year was not without its bumps, though. I felt like a whore. I felt like I had EASY stamped on my belly. I was wearing my sexuality on my belly, for all the world (and teen guys) to see. I was sexually harassed (the kid was expelled). I had a few bouts of morning sickness in the school cafeteria in front of all of my friends. When everyone was getting ready for senior prom, I was preparing to give birth and become a new mom.In the midst of all of this turmoil, God was making something beautiful out of something ugly – He was creating a new creature. On October 27, 1999, I received a letter in the mail from the youth ministry of the church I had been attending. The letter was to inform me about the topic of their next meeting – Teen Sexuality. As soon as I read the words, I could hear God telling me to go, but there was one problem, the meeting was on the same night as my grandpa’s birthday party. I never missed a family gathering. I told my parents and they told me to call my grandpa and tell him I couldn’t make his party because I had to go to church. My grandpa is a devout Catholic, and when I called him and told him, he completely understood. God was working. When I got to church, and heard the message, it was as if the pastor was describing my life. I was doing all of things he described and then some. I felt God tugging on my heart. At the end of the message and activities, we broke off into small groups; boys in the sanctuary and girls in the Sunday school buildings. It was there that I accepted Christ into my heart. That is not the end of my story.My aunt worked for a Crisis Pregnancy Center (a ministry of Focus on the Family) and hooked me up with kind and compassionate Christian counselors who helped show me what abortion was truly about. They showed me that there are other choices besides abortion. At first I wanted to keep my daughter, but I eventually decided to let my dad and step-mom adopt her, so I could serve my country in the Navy. I also did not want my daughter’s father to fight for custody of her. I lived with him for a little while and he ended up abusing me (he was arrested and served time in jail for the domestic violence). He also physically and verbally abused my baby. By the grace of God my daughter and I made it out of that situation alive. She is now almost seven years old and is happy and healthy (despite being born with a cleft palate and needing emergency bowel surgery when she was 17 days old). She still lives with my dad and step-mom. Unfortunately, I do not get to see her very often because we live so far away from one another. I don’t even call her as much as I should. Adoption is not easy, but abortion would be the hardest. Abortion (like suicide) is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. As hard as it is to deal with (I cry about it a lot), at least I know what my daughter looks like and how she is doing in school. If I had listened to those who wanted me to abort, I would have never known the answers to those important questions.

UPDATE: As of August 2008, I will be in the process of re-adopting my daughter because of the death of my dad and my sep-mom's health issues. Izzie will have a Mommy and a Daddy again!!! Also in July I found out that I'm pregnant, another answer to my prayers!!! God works in many wonderful ways!!
UPDATE: I found out that I lost my baby on 15 August 2008. I don't know why God decided to take my baby back to Heaven, but I do know that He works in powerful and mysterious ways.